Thursday, September 29, 2005

Memo: Squid Dick Spin Squad

"But males get round their inferior size by being endowed with a particularly long penis, which means they can inject the female without having to get too close to her chomping beak. The male's sexual organ is actually a bit like a high-pressure fire hose and is normally nearly as long as his body - excluding legs and head.

"But having such a big penis does have one drawback: it seems that co-ordinating eight legs, two feeding tentacles and a huge penis, whilst fending off an irate female, is a bit too much to ask, and one of the two males stranded on the Spanish coast had accidentally injected himself with sperm packages in the legs and body. And this does not seem to have been an isolated incident since two of the eight males that had stranded in the north-east Atlantic before had also accidentally inseminated themselves."
Suckers for gay trysts, fiery females and rough sex - squid secrets exposed.

To: Members
From: Carl
RE: Squid spin

It may be that some in the Media will attempt to use this story, or stories like it, in a misguided effort to discredit the tenets of Intelligent Design.

"After all," you might hear them say, "what Intelligent Being other than Tom DeLay would design huge creatures with eyes like volleyballs that fuck themselves by mistake?"

Some talking points for immediate use - work-up of detailed scholarship to follow:
  1. Evidence of design does not always unambiguously uncover the purpose, or telos, of said design.

  2. For centuries in the West, serious scholars have regarded the World of Creatures as a Book of Beasts, living emblems designed by the Creator to bring us allegorical lessons that speak to the world of man. (Ammo for anti-gay marriage platform?)

  3. It's a mystery.


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