Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Badaboom Rev. Robertson


Today in Opa Locka, the Blessed Virgin appeared before a small gathering of Mexican and Haitian migrants.

She called for the assassination of Pat Robertson, who on Monday called for the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

"We don't usually endorse political assassinations," said Our Lady. "But," she added, "it seems presumptuous of Mr. Robertson to arrogate to himself the business of the Dept. of Saints and Martyrs."

"This is in our sphere of influence," added Mary, "so we can't let this happen."

17 Comments:

Blogger Deleted said...

Protecting market share is an understandable -- if not especially "good" or "moral" -- motive. The bless├ęd, too, have their needs.

8/23/2005 3:02 PM  
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8/23/2005 3:25 PM  
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Blogger Tom Matrullo said...

This is not addressed to Frere Harry, to whom, "amen":

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8/23/2005 11:07 PM  
Blogger Jon Husband said...

As if ... anonymous knows how to read, or even comes back to look ... if I remember correctly, Tom, isn't that type of comment spam machine generated ? I've always assumed so.

Add my "amen" to yours and oh ... harry, pass the Jack Daniels, will ya ?

8/24/2005 3:41 AM  
Anonymous King Bastard said...

So at what point do we just expell him from America?

8/24/2005 5:41 PM  
Blogger Frank said...

So it would be poor form to burn a cross on the dickwad's lawn. And doing the COINTELPRO dosey-doh with some acid in the sacramental grape juice would be a waste of good acid. So I don't know how to humble him really. Hopefully the blessed virgin will just kick some right wing christian ass. I read of the miracle of Opa Locka and what could I say but "Thank you Jesus!"

8/24/2005 7:37 PM  
Blogger EuroYank said...

waiting for the day when SHE will appear somewhere in ISLAM territory!

8/25/2005 7:17 AM  
Blogger Juke said...

Should you happen to run into someone who swears to have seen the B.V. descend from the clouds and speak eloquently on a matter of current event, your first thought will most likely be, after the veracity of the experience is settled, that it was a hologram, or some other kind of mechanically-generated deception.
But Robertson is given his autonomy, mostly because we're trained to see each other as entirely separate creatures of inviolable and free will.
But I say, you there listen up! I say Robertson is all and only a hologram of the most egregious manufacture, a human form possessed in its entirety by malevolent spirits. That the earth crawls with parasitic creatures whose real form is shadow and vaporous cloud. That Robertson has no more substance than a well-made cartoon, and will speak whatever lines are written for him.
He's more than expendable, like a throwaway wrench, made to be used and discarded. He's done his job, what happens to him now means nothing.
You must learn to avoid fixating on the dog in the yard. There's a kennel-full just waiting, and a bank of silent alarms.
Who's doing this? Why?
It sure as hell isn't Robertson.

8/26/2005 6:37 PM  
Anonymous Tutor said...

Preaching assasination and mayem and still as popular as ever. May the Blessed Virgin intercede for us and bring us to our senses.

8/28/2005 12:11 AM  
Blogger Tom Matrullo said...

Mr. Moran, to ask "who's doing this? why?" already assumes agency and agenda, and some sort of organization that allows us to trace doers, virii, parasites, back up to some primum mobile, some cabal. At least, that's how the form of the question seems to set it up.

Tutor on the other hand invokes worldviews (like that of Russell Kirk) - entities that shape the yard in which the dogs run, bark, bite and shite.

What comes first: dog or yard? why?

8/28/2005 7:40 AM  
Blogger Juke said...

Well at the risk of extending the weathered planks of the metaphor out past its structural possibility to convey...
Robertson being the dog, the yard being the public, the commons, the fora in the agora - it would be the yard came first.
But if you mean to find agency, causative locus, a singular and identifiable entity to inherit the burden of instigatory responsibility...I'm afraid I'm still out with the jury on that.
What is the source of evil in the world? Now that you mention it.
I just think that Robertson's too evidently small weak and incompetent to carry the onus. And Bush too, really.
Cathartic figures dangled from above, relatively speaking, in a theatrical sense.
GRRRR!
Whoops.
Da-duh-da-duh-DA-duh
Da-duh-da-duh-DA-duh
Da-duh-da-dut-dut-DA
hey

8/30/2005 9:27 PM  
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