19 aspects of NPR music programming in Florida

NPR classical music programming in Florida is

1. the Charmin of the soul.
2. a plush replica of Henry VIII's codpiece.
3. the antennae of forgotten ancestors from Switzerland.
4. the cream in your lungs.
5. a way of being acoustically engineered to play golf.
6. the plan of the petite bourgeois' mastery of his existence.
   
7. a cummerbund girding the arse of Naples, FL.
8. the doily between your ears.
9. an aural mask sufficient unto the day.
10. the salt in your wounds.
    
11. the logo of corporate anaesthetism.
12. a songfest for senile folk on beta blockers.
13. a lullaby for the poor in spirit but not in the biblical sense.
14. the representation of happy times 221 years ago in Vienna.
15. sturm of traffic, drang of spouse.
16. a gated community doorbell.
17. the starch in your paycheck.
    
18. the top-25 hit parade for anglophiles.
    
19. the pompandcircumstancing of your morning, Mendelssohnization of your noon, Borodinning of your early cocktail, Brucknerfest of your evening meditation.