Thursday, March 13, 2008

RFP: ADA to dance with unique CPM


On the FASTForward08 blog, and on his own blog Wirearchy, Jon Husband points to Charlene Li of Forrester's recent talk about The Future of Social Networks. Among many suggestive forecasts, Li speaks of a world in which each individual has his/her own unique CPM.

One hopes that the same good people who bring this to fruition will also provide each of us with our own ADA - Asshat Dodging Avatar. This holographic image, preferably with seven heads and 10 horns, will walk alongside, or better, in front of each of us, hoary head swinging to and fro in real time, both within the "single social graph," and without.

Its work will be to collect all the spam, all the personally targeted ads, all the referrals, all the requests to play this or that fessbook game, all the clicks for which we poor biological specimens have neither the time, nor the patience, nor indeed, the care, mother of attention. The ADA will cordially refer each solicitation to the solicitude of the ADAs of 1.5 billion of our closest friends. We'll just pocket the change.

10 Comments:

Blogger Jon said...

.. delicious !

Unfortunately, I think you're quite right about the quest for, or the inevitable manifestation of, personal CPM.

I expect (or hope, more accurately) that my pockets will be empty.

It's too much to hope for the eventual possibility that the most common perspective about life's purpose will turn to something other (and more noble) than the making of money.

3/13/2008 2:18 PM  
Blogger Tom Matrullo said...

Li also points to The Mystery of Capital, a glimpse of a different sort of new world order.

3/14/2008 12:22 AM  
Blogger madame said...

She's annoyed me in the past and she continues to annoy me. Forrester is especially disgusting, charging $300 frog skins and upwards to read their pull it out of their ass "research".

Instead, I believe that in the future, social networks will be like air. They will be anywhere and everywhere we need and want them to be. And also, without that social context in our connected lives, we won’t really feel like we are truly living and alive, just as without sufficient air, we won’t really be able to breathe deeply.

Yeah, thanks Deepra. Oh shit, my red string just broke.

Is that, like, sub-liminal product placement? Don't make me quote the Beatles out of thin air.

Why is it that I am prevented from leaving any comments on a supposed transparent group blog: BoingBoing, because I want to know whether they take free product for posts? But comments about butt-plugs abound. Fuck these charlatans. The whole lot of them, cut from the same bolt of mangy cloth. The Mystery of Capital InFuckingDeed.

Erase this if you want. It makes no difference. Put me in a wheelchair and get me to the show. The keynote. Fuck 'em. Fuckers.

3/14/2008 2:44 PM  
Blogger Tom Matrullo said...

Here at IMproPRieTies we hold to a whateverwefuckingpleeze policy about comments. Occasional, tasteful suggestions regarding buttplugs esp. in mauve or puce will be tolerated, while nauseous self-dealing snarkisms from the likes of the Rev. John C. Hagee are routinely sent to the same prosecutors currently investigating DNA at the Mayflower.

3/14/2008 3:08 PM  
Blogger Jon said...

I looked quickly at The Mystery of Capital listing ...

"A distinguished Third World economist takes a close-up look at why capitalism succeeds in some countries and fails in others, arguing that the key to its success is related to the legal structure of property and property rights.

I'm no expert but it has seemed to me for a long time that capital and capitalism (and the legal structure of property and property rights) is not a natural thing, but rather was the invention of of some flim-flammer back a long time ago perhaps a misanthrope who was shunned by the tribe for belching at the wrong times around the campfire.

Who was the first proprietor ? Who was the first judge who knew enough to set the first precedent about property ? How did the first rights case that did not get settled with tooth, claw, sword inform other subsequent cases and from where did it come ?

Someday we may have to pay someone to use our own eyeballs, I imagine.

Shee-it.

3/14/2008 5:26 PM  
Anonymous madame l. said...

started to leave a comment, got sidetracked and off top and ended up writing this post here instead.

3/15/2008 8:59 AM  
Blogger Jon said...

I'd love to read it, madame, but my browser does not know how to supply the credentials required and I am not sure how to obtain said creds.

I suppose you'll tell me that if I really want to get the creds I'll figure out how to get to you to get them ? ;-)

3/15/2008 1:02 PM  
Blogger Juke said...

That would be "hoary heads swinging" I think.
This:
"They will be anywhere and everywhere we need and want them to be".
It's the hive. We won't need individuality anymore, or bodies really, just the roles we're born to, serving. Giant insect thing full of soft-bodied little drones and deep within it...
Anyway, utopia's probably not in the cards anytime soon, what with all this global whomping and financial crack-house entropy.
Though that said I admire and respect and support wholeheartedly all efforts to better the systems and devices in our lives and the lives of those to come. Unless the bad guys win.

3/18/2008 11:22 PM  
Blogger Tom Matrullo said...

I thought they already did win. Or maybe that was the last 100 years, and now they're in some slight danger of blowing us all to fuck.

3/18/2008 11:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The ADA is a wonderful idea. However rather than wallowing in the pool of forbidden genetic creationism, could we not simply bring back the 'flappers' from Gullivers Travels?

Imagine Charline Li in a leather corset with a spiked dog collar, walking in front of your august personage, sin eating all of those amazing offers, pitches, cookies, and using a harvest gold buttplug for steering?

Just think, if everybody had flappers, we could put all those current and forthcoming PR flacks to work performing useful work for society!

the head lemur

3/20/2008 3:10 PM  

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