Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Happy (in your ) end

(Enter Lady Macbeth, pursued by a bear, barely above a whisper)

Lately I have been experiencing spasms of retardation. I'll be attending to something - a story, a radio announcer, a tweet - I do not listen to ads, so this is really more like "media" - and suddenly my entire face will contract as in some sort of epileptic seizure, and from the rictus where my oral cavity just was will spew some stream of sound, not a grunt, exactly, more like the enthusiasmic oozeandahhings of those unfortunately afflicted with severe mental, and often physical, disability.

I've wanted to confess to this disconcerting - at least to me - and unaccountable phenomenon for some time, as it would perhaps relieve my symptoms to ask several fair and balanced experts - Dr. Seligman, perhaps, or Condi, or Hugh - to weigh in and help sort this out. Or perhaps this is not such an isolated symptomology as I am led to believe. ? Others may be out there who are also being incapacitated, reduced to gibbering drool, convulsed, snuffed, wracked by debilitating and unsuitable-for-social-media seizures that take hold upon listening to stories on NPR, Fox, or ABC.

Zounds! methinks one e'en now approacheth. . .

Wallace didn't know that Comcast had a digital detecting unit searching the Internet diligently looking for unhappy customers who needed help.


Tracey Wallace is now a devoted customer, thanks to the help she received after her post on Twitter. "I am totally loyal to Comcast -- they took care of me." #$#

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