Monday, July 16, 2007


Bush has always been hard to listen to. Often it's his semantic stew that sinks any effort to attend. Lately it's more on the level of the signifier -- not that the stew is any less savoury -- specifically, it's the johnson-one-note-intonation.

"Secretary Rice will chair the meeting." Imagine any sane man, any bogus leader you name, saying this, and it will sound factual, declarative, helpfully filling in a bit of info, shaping expectations of some future event.

When George says it, it rides an arc of petulance, a querulous lintel that assumes that the listener, who is hearing this for the first time, has some incomprehensible reservation about it, is somehow mysteriously already not entirely on board with the notion, might in fact be standing in the dusty midway, hand reaching for gun, warily daring, Morricone guitar on reverb, to be dared. It's the tone of a voice sure it is being challenged, universally, all the time, and it wants us to know what we can do with our view.

"IN YOUR FACE Secretary Rice will chair the meeting."

"UP YOUR ASS Secretary Rice will chair the meeting."

"VAFA'NCULO Secretary Rice will chair the meeting."

In truth, this is the arc of every sentence coming forth from Bush these days. He's the one-note johnson, the little dick that petulantly can't, won't, shit ma, ok?


Blogger Ray Davis said...

Yeah, but if he only had that music playing behind him it would be OK.

And if Clint Eastwood whacked him afterward, I mean.

7/17/2007 12:34 AM  
Anonymous tom said...

at least make a mySpace page with muzak for the NIE

7/17/2007 8:28 AM  
Blogger Scruggs said...

Bush gives value for money to people who won't be collecting on their television-avoidance pot of gold. His campaign stickers on car bumpers are better than bobblehead dashboard rottweilers or those silly pictures of the little boy taking a forbidden piss.

The target demographics will need something more extreme for the next series. I recommend a drug-addled Giuliani, wearing a dress, steel-toed boots and brass knuckles as he signs laws promoting moral cleansing. We need to get this shit out in the open. Otherwise people will think we're weak and ashamed.

7/18/2007 12:52 AM  
Anonymous tom said...

build it, they will cum.

7/18/2007 8:43 AM  
Anonymous ahfukit said...

What, you never take forbidden pisses, either? What with teevee already trashed, you're closing in on the REALLY fun stuff. As you know, I simply cannot allow that. (And, mr. webmister, I don't like the look of that "cum".)

7/18/2007 11:13 AM  

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